Post by Fulano on Apr 12, 2006 13:58:22 GMT -5
Hey guys, I'm applying for MMM, and I need some people to rate my bio, and tell me what they think I should change to make it better. I've tried on MMM, but its been 3 days now with no answers, so could you guys help?
Character's Name: Seleucus Apoxifos
Email: laxnerd201@yahoo.com
Warrior Type: Free Agent
Character's Sex: Male
Character's Age: 47
Zoids (Pick 2 from levels 1-4): Storm Sworder, Lightning Saix (if I chose Zoids that are too high in level together, than my second choice would be Cannon Panther.)
AIM Contact: Laxnerd201
Forum Account: Epyon
Referred by: N/A
If not referred, how did you find MMM?: Links all over the place. This is the biggest Zoids RPG on the net...
Character Backstory and Description:
Character Description:
Moderate in height, having not yet begun to shrink, Saleucus stands at about 5'11" Rugged desert apparel covers his body, with a gray shirt, pale faded yellow pants that have seen years of the elements, and a white scarf that usually covers Saleucus's face. When uncovered, Saleucus appears worn and weathered, with wrinkled skin, and aged features. His face has felt the sun, his cheeks burnt to the point where a tan is something eternal on his skin. Hardly muscular in comparison to his less aged self, but still maintained, Saleucus retains his strong, hard body. More built for running, Saleucus has the endurance, rather than strength, and occasionally goes for a run.
Saleucus's senses are not what they used to be, as his sense of hearing has failed him. What he lacks in hearing, Saleucus makes up in seeing. His eyes are razor sharp in identifying detail, but sensitive to the sun. The grey eyes are complemented with eerie white pupils that hold the secret to Saleucus's vision. Saleucus's nose is moderately thin, and ends rather sharply. His cheeks are thin and shallow, and his ears particularly small. Seleucus's has pale lips, dry and parched, and his chin is subtle and defined, rather sharp and jutting. Perhaps the only color still clinging to Saleucus's body would be his hair, which has little brown left. The dominant gray hair on Saleucus's head has managed to avoid turning white, but parts have begun to give up. Saleucus's hair falls just short of his ears. His bangs are short, and have not reached his eyes. Saleucus's hair has a bit of a spike in it, with his hair reaching out in all directions. A severe case of hat hair usually follows a trip to anywhere for Saleucus, so it's not unusual to see him show up at a bar with hair all over the place.
Unlike most of the pilots busy fighting all over Zi, Seleucus would rather watch than battle. But like a characteristic people on Zi, piloting a Zoid is a must. Fighting in one is even more so, and therefore, Seleucus learned to pilot a Zoid. Not exactly shy, but always appearing to be, Seleucus prefers to stay quiet, rather than make himself look stupid. He keeps an inscrutable expression on his face at all times, and only expresses emotion around those he personally knows... which means hardly anybody. Like all desert nomads, Seleucus would take the outdoors over any apartment or housing complex, the reason being that Seleucus values nature over human technology. The fact that "nature" is destroyed at ever Zoid battle irks him... alot, and this has spurred Seleucus to always think about what he does in a Zoid battle. Melee weapons appeal most to him, because its harder to destroy a rock with a sword than it is to blow it up with a missle. Atleast Seleucus thinks so.
Background:
The deserts of Zi flow all over the planet, almost as familiar on the horizon as is the sea. They can kill you, they can starve you, and they can remove you from human society with ease. But most of all, the deserts of Zi can hide you. And that's Saleucus's secret to success, being able to disappear and appear anywhere. He has lived in the Cahabi Desert since his 18th year, when he left home to enjoy the subtle things in life. Taking residence across the water from Mount Olympus, Saleucus has remained a secret for decades.
Saleucus's childhood was different compared to most of the Zoid pilots living in the world of MMM. In fact, saying it was normal would be like contradicting all that has been built here. Saleucus's childhood was… HAPPY!!!! OMGWTF? No, Saleucus never had anything special. His family lived in the suburbs Oasis City, in a small house, with a small plot of land, and no Zoids. He was perhaps, the most un-spoiled kid on the block, with few toys, but enough to have fun with, and no special parents, nor any money. Saleucus's dad was a good father, supporting himself and his family of 5. His mother took the occupation of selling houses, and his father a fisherman. Saleucus had only the outdoors and his 2 other brothers, Ptolemy and Spartacus. They went to school, had friends, and lived a normal life. (Can you believe it? No killing people at 13, no piloting a Berserk Fuhrer at 12.) And when 18 came, and the oldest son, Saleucus, moved out, he continued to enjoy the bigger things, like wandering deserts and hiking up mountains.
Unfortunately, no ammount of avoiding society could keep Seleucus from a Zoid, or rather, a Zoid from Seleucus. Transportation became a necessity for crossing Zi, as walking on foot took a long time, and Seleucus foresaw the future years of his life. There would be a lot of walking. A Zoid seemed rather efficient. The faster the better, and what better Zoids to be fast than a Storm Sworder or a Lightning Saix? There aren't too many. And so Seleucus invested his valuable time and wonderful personality to learn how to pilot a Zoid. It turned out that nothing could feed his need for speed, and soon enough, Seleucus was zipping all over the place in rented Lightning Saix's and Storm Sworders. Unfortunatley, the harsh penalty of having to pay for those damn Zoid rentals was not worth the speed, and Seleucus was left with no other option but to join the ZBC. Free Zoids, there's nothing like 'em. And Seleucus's novice fighting skills could be improved. Years of piloting a Zoid that possessed speed like no other resulted in Seleucus looking pretty good for a piloting job. And so it began, the journey of a lifetime (a short journey, since Seleucus is old, one should mention) in a world of Metal Machine Music.
Alright, so this is what I have so far, and I just wanted to see if this would pass. Is it too cliche? (Probably not) Is it too bland, and boring? Is it too... normal? (Or rather, different.) tell me what I could improve. I'll finish it tonight.
Ps. I didn't know where to put this, but fan fics seemed like the closest thing to a bio.
Character's Name: Seleucus Apoxifos
Email: laxnerd201@yahoo.com
Warrior Type: Free Agent
Character's Sex: Male
Character's Age: 47
Zoids (Pick 2 from levels 1-4): Storm Sworder, Lightning Saix (if I chose Zoids that are too high in level together, than my second choice would be Cannon Panther.)
AIM Contact: Laxnerd201
Forum Account: Epyon
Referred by: N/A
If not referred, how did you find MMM?: Links all over the place. This is the biggest Zoids RPG on the net...
Character Backstory and Description:
Character Description:
Moderate in height, having not yet begun to shrink, Saleucus stands at about 5'11" Rugged desert apparel covers his body, with a gray shirt, pale faded yellow pants that have seen years of the elements, and a white scarf that usually covers Saleucus's face. When uncovered, Saleucus appears worn and weathered, with wrinkled skin, and aged features. His face has felt the sun, his cheeks burnt to the point where a tan is something eternal on his skin. Hardly muscular in comparison to his less aged self, but still maintained, Saleucus retains his strong, hard body. More built for running, Saleucus has the endurance, rather than strength, and occasionally goes for a run.
Saleucus's senses are not what they used to be, as his sense of hearing has failed him. What he lacks in hearing, Saleucus makes up in seeing. His eyes are razor sharp in identifying detail, but sensitive to the sun. The grey eyes are complemented with eerie white pupils that hold the secret to Saleucus's vision. Saleucus's nose is moderately thin, and ends rather sharply. His cheeks are thin and shallow, and his ears particularly small. Seleucus's has pale lips, dry and parched, and his chin is subtle and defined, rather sharp and jutting. Perhaps the only color still clinging to Saleucus's body would be his hair, which has little brown left. The dominant gray hair on Saleucus's head has managed to avoid turning white, but parts have begun to give up. Saleucus's hair falls just short of his ears. His bangs are short, and have not reached his eyes. Saleucus's hair has a bit of a spike in it, with his hair reaching out in all directions. A severe case of hat hair usually follows a trip to anywhere for Saleucus, so it's not unusual to see him show up at a bar with hair all over the place.
Unlike most of the pilots busy fighting all over Zi, Seleucus would rather watch than battle. But like a characteristic people on Zi, piloting a Zoid is a must. Fighting in one is even more so, and therefore, Seleucus learned to pilot a Zoid. Not exactly shy, but always appearing to be, Seleucus prefers to stay quiet, rather than make himself look stupid. He keeps an inscrutable expression on his face at all times, and only expresses emotion around those he personally knows... which means hardly anybody. Like all desert nomads, Seleucus would take the outdoors over any apartment or housing complex, the reason being that Seleucus values nature over human technology. The fact that "nature" is destroyed at ever Zoid battle irks him... alot, and this has spurred Seleucus to always think about what he does in a Zoid battle. Melee weapons appeal most to him, because its harder to destroy a rock with a sword than it is to blow it up with a missle. Atleast Seleucus thinks so.
Background:
The deserts of Zi flow all over the planet, almost as familiar on the horizon as is the sea. They can kill you, they can starve you, and they can remove you from human society with ease. But most of all, the deserts of Zi can hide you. And that's Saleucus's secret to success, being able to disappear and appear anywhere. He has lived in the Cahabi Desert since his 18th year, when he left home to enjoy the subtle things in life. Taking residence across the water from Mount Olympus, Saleucus has remained a secret for decades.
Saleucus's childhood was different compared to most of the Zoid pilots living in the world of MMM. In fact, saying it was normal would be like contradicting all that has been built here. Saleucus's childhood was… HAPPY!!!! OMGWTF? No, Saleucus never had anything special. His family lived in the suburbs Oasis City, in a small house, with a small plot of land, and no Zoids. He was perhaps, the most un-spoiled kid on the block, with few toys, but enough to have fun with, and no special parents, nor any money. Saleucus's dad was a good father, supporting himself and his family of 5. His mother took the occupation of selling houses, and his father a fisherman. Saleucus had only the outdoors and his 2 other brothers, Ptolemy and Spartacus. They went to school, had friends, and lived a normal life. (Can you believe it? No killing people at 13, no piloting a Berserk Fuhrer at 12.) And when 18 came, and the oldest son, Saleucus, moved out, he continued to enjoy the bigger things, like wandering deserts and hiking up mountains.
Unfortunately, no ammount of avoiding society could keep Seleucus from a Zoid, or rather, a Zoid from Seleucus. Transportation became a necessity for crossing Zi, as walking on foot took a long time, and Seleucus foresaw the future years of his life. There would be a lot of walking. A Zoid seemed rather efficient. The faster the better, and what better Zoids to be fast than a Storm Sworder or a Lightning Saix? There aren't too many. And so Seleucus invested his valuable time and wonderful personality to learn how to pilot a Zoid. It turned out that nothing could feed his need for speed, and soon enough, Seleucus was zipping all over the place in rented Lightning Saix's and Storm Sworders. Unfortunatley, the harsh penalty of having to pay for those damn Zoid rentals was not worth the speed, and Seleucus was left with no other option but to join the ZBC. Free Zoids, there's nothing like 'em. And Seleucus's novice fighting skills could be improved. Years of piloting a Zoid that possessed speed like no other resulted in Seleucus looking pretty good for a piloting job. And so it began, the journey of a lifetime (a short journey, since Seleucus is old, one should mention) in a world of Metal Machine Music.
Alright, so this is what I have so far, and I just wanted to see if this would pass. Is it too cliche? (Probably not) Is it too bland, and boring? Is it too... normal? (Or rather, different.) tell me what I could improve. I'll finish it tonight.
Ps. I didn't know where to put this, but fan fics seemed like the closest thing to a bio.
