The Ancient Power: Chapter 1 Plans

[Zar_Wolf]

Please, if you read this, post what you think. Thanks. -Arya
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I'm an 18 year-old Pilot for the Helic Republic. My name, Arya Zar Rencha. Most People think I shouldn't be a pilot "because I'm a girl." So what, I don't care, a girl can pilot and fight in a Zoid.
My unit, the 5th Relic Fight Division, has been ordered to report to Gojulas Base. A hidden base in the mountians. there's only one problem, that land is now the enemys (Zenebas). Lucky, the base has not been found.
"1/4 of a mile left in till the border."said Rodjer, our captian. My unit started out as 15 men, 5 woman. Now my unit is sadly 7 men, 3 woman; but we still have to cross enemy lines, crazy.
"Enemy ahead, 80 Zoids" said Rick.

-Arya

[Tilly]

Rick? Who's Rick? Other than the Rick we have here...

You really should add more detail to stuff...when you're using original characters, remember that other people don't know who they are. Describe them a bit, or at least show their personality some by how they move, talk, and act...

[Deadborder]

Hello! I'm Rick! You may remember me form such posts as the RandomCrappyZoidsFic and "There is no Trinity Liger and if you ask that again I will break your fingers."

I like the cncepts for the fic; set in the Battle Sotry universe during the Guylos Invasion would bei nteresting to read. The problem is, its just that: a concept. It needs a lot of fleshing out.

The RandomCrappyZoidsFic is a fic all aobut OCs. It also has good intros ofr each OC . Check it out ofr an example of hoe to do it.

Rick R.

[Zar_Wolf]

He's the polit of the guysack RS(radar Special). I was going to say more about him later.