Post by KAndrw on Aug 12, 2006 7:40:25 GMT -5
Well, it seems like writing fanfic is the thing to do, so after carefully considering all of the recent advice offered, here's something I'm understandably quite proud of. I don't doubt that everybody will agree that it really is superb, and is in every way a canonical expansion to the Chaotic Century mythos...
Kartoffeln pour Bakemono
by KAndrw
Fat raindrops hammered against the windows of the Guardian Force situation room. Raven and Fiona were playing Fight Night on the staff Xbox 360. Van, Thomas and Reese were listening to Jay-Z and playing a game of Skirmish – the customisable card game. Van’s Cry Havoc deck was losing badly to Thomas’ Nightclaw/Goliath bruise deck and Reese’s Warlock combo deck. Suddenly the door burst open and Rob Hermann strode in.
“Attention!” he cried out, and the troops stood up and took notice of their commander.
“I’d like to introduce one of the two newest members of Guardian Force”, he said, motioning for somebody to enter the room. “Ladies and gentlemen, this is Dr Andrew, your new subcommander.” A dashing young man sauntered in on cue, his Prada suit jacket swishing back to reveal the ripped Dead Kennedys t-shirt beneath. He flashed a quick smile to Reese that instantly set her heart aflutter. Raven was not surprised at the sudden pang of jealousy, but he was surprised to find that it was Reese he was jealous of.
“Yo yo Guardian Fizzorce – you can call me Andrew, and I’m damn pleased to be here working with you”, exclaimed the newcomer. “We will shortly be joined by my partner, but meanwhile I will appraise you on our mission.
“To cut to the quick, Prozen is back.”
“OMG!” murmured Fiona, sagging and leaning against Raven.
“We don’t know how, we don’t know why, and we don’t know what allies he has. What we do know is that he has something big planned.” Andrew flicked the switch on a wall monitor, revealing a map of Planet Zi. Small, dull points of light were dotted all over, concentrated and brighter in cities. In an isolated part of the desert, where there should have been nothing, an enormous blown-out white circle completely obscured the terrain. “Two days ago Teletran One picked up this energy spike. We sent in a platoon of Holotech Genosaurers to investigate. At maximum cloak, they should have been undetectable, but something destroyed them utterly before they got close enough to discover anything. All except this one.” The monitor changed to an image of a man. It was fuzzy and out of focus, but the features were unmistakeable. It was Prozen.
After the Guardian Force were brought up to speed with Andrew’s plan, Hermann received a call on his Nokia.
“Uh huh… Okay… Sure, I’ll tell them… See you soon. [click] Alright, Commander Schubaltz is on his way down with Subcommander Andrew’s partner. As soon as they’re here, we move out. Ah, here they are now.” The door opened, and a vision of loveliness walked in. She wore thigh-high leather boots with wicked stilettos on the heels, an implausibly short skirt, and skin-tight sweater that barely contained her heaving chest. Her flowing blonde hair spilled over her shoulders, framing the subtle five o’clock shadow on her face.
“Good afternoon Karl”, cried Andrew, “you really are looking fantastic these days!”
“It’s good to see you too Andrew, but as I was just saying to your partner Spider-Man, I’m not called Karl any longer. My name is Tabitha now”, replied Tabitha Schubaltz, co-leader of the Guardian Force.
“Seriously Andrew”, said Spider-Man as he entered the room, “that was pretty damn gauche. Okay kids, let’s go!”
The newly-expanded Guardian Force team charged across the desert to the source of Prozen’s power surge – Thomas in his Dibison, Van and Fiona in the Blade Liger, Reese and Raven in the Genobreaker and Tabitha in the Iron Kong SS. Rob in the Gojulas was leading the way, with Andrew and Spidey in Andrew’s pimped out Sturm Tyrann – with neons running up the side of each legs and some fully sick chrome rims around the breaker claws – bringing up the rear. Suddenly the Gojulas erupted in fire as a barrage of missiles pounded down around Rob. The ground trembled as a mountain in the middle distance exploded, the dust clearing to reveal a monster beyond the deepest terrors of any of the Guardian Force. It was not just a Deathsaurer, it was something more.
“Oh dear God”, muttered Spider-Man. “I know what’s behind this. I’ve felt this before. A thousand times on a thousand different worlds. I prayed that he wouldn’t make it here, but even if he did, I never thought he would do this. This is madness!”
“What is it Spidey?” asked Andrew. “Who are you talking about? Prozen?”
“No”, replied Spider-Man, his voice hollow with sadness. “Prozen is dead. This is somebody else, using his body. Somebody so much more powerful. So much more evil.”
“I’m scared”, whimpered Van, clinging to Fiona. “Who is this great evil, and what the hell is that zoid?”
“The great evil has many names. The one he used last time I fought him was…
“SKELETOR.
“I won our last battle, but at great cost. My magic is all used up, and I cannot stand against him again. Not when he is commanding this zoid. It is too powerful. Too malevolent.”
“Dammit Spider-Man!” yelled Tabitha, “What is that zoid?! It looks like the Deathsaurer, but Van destroyed the Deathsaurer!”
“Yeah”, agreed Fiona, “he f***ed the Deathsaurer up big time!”
“It is the dark soul of the Deathsaurer”, confirmed Spider-Man, “forged through Skeletor’s cursed incantations with the spirit of the great legend – Gilvader. The evil is multiplied synergistically, and this Deathvader is truly unstoppable. I’m afraid, my friends, that there is nothing that can save us. This world is lost. Hopefully I will be able to save the next.” With that, Spider-Man used his web to weave a cocoon around himself, then tapped a concealed button on his Spider-gauntlet. The cocoon shimmered, then vanished, taking Spider-Man with it. The Guardian Force were alone.
“Ragh ha haha!” screamed Prozen’s body. “I’m going to flay the succulent flesh from your bones and feast on your brains!” The Deathvader opened its horrifying maw and let out a terrible shriek. Simultaneously, a mega-charged-particle-beam lanced from its mouth and the electron ultra-saws shot out from its wings – all headed directly for the Guardian Force fighters.
But then something strange happened. The beam and the saws stopped dead just before they hit the heroes. Raven and Tabitha exclaimed in unison;
“WTF?! How did that happen?!” Then they noticed the beautiful glow coming from the cockpit of the Sturm Tyrann. In slow motion, the head of Andrew’s zoid exploded into tiny particles. From out of the splinterstorm floated Andrew in an halo of flame, an enormous pair of translucent wings trailing behind him.
“This will not be allowed”, Andrew gently whispered, his words shaking the stars and reverberating around the globe. “This world has grown to love. It will not tolerate a return of Prozen’s evil. It will not tolerate the alien evil of Skeletor. It will not tolerate the fusion of two evil zoids into an even totally eviller zoid. This is such a load of crap, and it ends here. I speak with the authority of Planet Zi, and with the heart and resolve of Zoid Eve. These swords will do evil no more. I will beat them into ploughshares.”
In and out of Andrew’s corona flickered images of zoids. Not ghosts of the dead, but the spirits of those yet to be born. As one, they began to deploy their weapons. A spectral Molga leisurely opened its abdominal hatch to reveal the laser thing. A lemurous Gairyuki lowered its head and began to charge up. The suggestion of Liger Zero Panzer opened its weapons ports in preparation for Burning Big Bang. And then the world went white.
The soul energy of a million zoids rushed towards the Deathvader, tearing through it and vapourising Prozen’s body. Before the incredulous eyes of the Guardian Force fighters, the Deathvader was reformed by the massive power of the spirit beam, burning away all traces of evil and replacing them with hope, with love and with the power to heal. When the torrent finally dissipated, the Deathvader was gone. In its place stood a shiny new JCB, with a stunned Jennifer Love Hewitt sitting in the driver’s seat. As Andrew floated down to her, understanding dawned.
“You’ve done it, haven’t you? You saved Planet Zi, and you released me from Skeletor’s evil spell! I’ve been trapped in his vile magical constructs for a thousand years, and now I’m finally free! But first… I haven’t had the opportunity to stick my tongue in another person’s ear for a millenium, and I’ve got me some lost time to make up for!”
Kartoffeln pour Bakemono
by KAndrw
Fat raindrops hammered against the windows of the Guardian Force situation room. Raven and Fiona were playing Fight Night on the staff Xbox 360. Van, Thomas and Reese were listening to Jay-Z and playing a game of Skirmish – the customisable card game. Van’s Cry Havoc deck was losing badly to Thomas’ Nightclaw/Goliath bruise deck and Reese’s Warlock combo deck. Suddenly the door burst open and Rob Hermann strode in.
“Attention!” he cried out, and the troops stood up and took notice of their commander.
“I’d like to introduce one of the two newest members of Guardian Force”, he said, motioning for somebody to enter the room. “Ladies and gentlemen, this is Dr Andrew, your new subcommander.” A dashing young man sauntered in on cue, his Prada suit jacket swishing back to reveal the ripped Dead Kennedys t-shirt beneath. He flashed a quick smile to Reese that instantly set her heart aflutter. Raven was not surprised at the sudden pang of jealousy, but he was surprised to find that it was Reese he was jealous of.
“Yo yo Guardian Fizzorce – you can call me Andrew, and I’m damn pleased to be here working with you”, exclaimed the newcomer. “We will shortly be joined by my partner, but meanwhile I will appraise you on our mission.
“To cut to the quick, Prozen is back.”
“OMG!” murmured Fiona, sagging and leaning against Raven.
“We don’t know how, we don’t know why, and we don’t know what allies he has. What we do know is that he has something big planned.” Andrew flicked the switch on a wall monitor, revealing a map of Planet Zi. Small, dull points of light were dotted all over, concentrated and brighter in cities. In an isolated part of the desert, where there should have been nothing, an enormous blown-out white circle completely obscured the terrain. “Two days ago Teletran One picked up this energy spike. We sent in a platoon of Holotech Genosaurers to investigate. At maximum cloak, they should have been undetectable, but something destroyed them utterly before they got close enough to discover anything. All except this one.” The monitor changed to an image of a man. It was fuzzy and out of focus, but the features were unmistakeable. It was Prozen.
After the Guardian Force were brought up to speed with Andrew’s plan, Hermann received a call on his Nokia.
“Uh huh… Okay… Sure, I’ll tell them… See you soon. [click] Alright, Commander Schubaltz is on his way down with Subcommander Andrew’s partner. As soon as they’re here, we move out. Ah, here they are now.” The door opened, and a vision of loveliness walked in. She wore thigh-high leather boots with wicked stilettos on the heels, an implausibly short skirt, and skin-tight sweater that barely contained her heaving chest. Her flowing blonde hair spilled over her shoulders, framing the subtle five o’clock shadow on her face.
“Good afternoon Karl”, cried Andrew, “you really are looking fantastic these days!”
“It’s good to see you too Andrew, but as I was just saying to your partner Spider-Man, I’m not called Karl any longer. My name is Tabitha now”, replied Tabitha Schubaltz, co-leader of the Guardian Force.
“Seriously Andrew”, said Spider-Man as he entered the room, “that was pretty damn gauche. Okay kids, let’s go!”
The newly-expanded Guardian Force team charged across the desert to the source of Prozen’s power surge – Thomas in his Dibison, Van and Fiona in the Blade Liger, Reese and Raven in the Genobreaker and Tabitha in the Iron Kong SS. Rob in the Gojulas was leading the way, with Andrew and Spidey in Andrew’s pimped out Sturm Tyrann – with neons running up the side of each legs and some fully sick chrome rims around the breaker claws – bringing up the rear. Suddenly the Gojulas erupted in fire as a barrage of missiles pounded down around Rob. The ground trembled as a mountain in the middle distance exploded, the dust clearing to reveal a monster beyond the deepest terrors of any of the Guardian Force. It was not just a Deathsaurer, it was something more.
“Oh dear God”, muttered Spider-Man. “I know what’s behind this. I’ve felt this before. A thousand times on a thousand different worlds. I prayed that he wouldn’t make it here, but even if he did, I never thought he would do this. This is madness!”
“What is it Spidey?” asked Andrew. “Who are you talking about? Prozen?”
“No”, replied Spider-Man, his voice hollow with sadness. “Prozen is dead. This is somebody else, using his body. Somebody so much more powerful. So much more evil.”
“I’m scared”, whimpered Van, clinging to Fiona. “Who is this great evil, and what the hell is that zoid?”
“The great evil has many names. The one he used last time I fought him was…
“SKELETOR.
“I won our last battle, but at great cost. My magic is all used up, and I cannot stand against him again. Not when he is commanding this zoid. It is too powerful. Too malevolent.”
“Dammit Spider-Man!” yelled Tabitha, “What is that zoid?! It looks like the Deathsaurer, but Van destroyed the Deathsaurer!”
“Yeah”, agreed Fiona, “he f***ed the Deathsaurer up big time!”
“It is the dark soul of the Deathsaurer”, confirmed Spider-Man, “forged through Skeletor’s cursed incantations with the spirit of the great legend – Gilvader. The evil is multiplied synergistically, and this Deathvader is truly unstoppable. I’m afraid, my friends, that there is nothing that can save us. This world is lost. Hopefully I will be able to save the next.” With that, Spider-Man used his web to weave a cocoon around himself, then tapped a concealed button on his Spider-gauntlet. The cocoon shimmered, then vanished, taking Spider-Man with it. The Guardian Force were alone.
“Ragh ha haha!” screamed Prozen’s body. “I’m going to flay the succulent flesh from your bones and feast on your brains!” The Deathvader opened its horrifying maw and let out a terrible shriek. Simultaneously, a mega-charged-particle-beam lanced from its mouth and the electron ultra-saws shot out from its wings – all headed directly for the Guardian Force fighters.
But then something strange happened. The beam and the saws stopped dead just before they hit the heroes. Raven and Tabitha exclaimed in unison;
“WTF?! How did that happen?!” Then they noticed the beautiful glow coming from the cockpit of the Sturm Tyrann. In slow motion, the head of Andrew’s zoid exploded into tiny particles. From out of the splinterstorm floated Andrew in an halo of flame, an enormous pair of translucent wings trailing behind him.
“This will not be allowed”, Andrew gently whispered, his words shaking the stars and reverberating around the globe. “This world has grown to love. It will not tolerate a return of Prozen’s evil. It will not tolerate the alien evil of Skeletor. It will not tolerate the fusion of two evil zoids into an even totally eviller zoid. This is such a load of crap, and it ends here. I speak with the authority of Planet Zi, and with the heart and resolve of Zoid Eve. These swords will do evil no more. I will beat them into ploughshares.”
In and out of Andrew’s corona flickered images of zoids. Not ghosts of the dead, but the spirits of those yet to be born. As one, they began to deploy their weapons. A spectral Molga leisurely opened its abdominal hatch to reveal the laser thing. A lemurous Gairyuki lowered its head and began to charge up. The suggestion of Liger Zero Panzer opened its weapons ports in preparation for Burning Big Bang. And then the world went white.
The soul energy of a million zoids rushed towards the Deathvader, tearing through it and vapourising Prozen’s body. Before the incredulous eyes of the Guardian Force fighters, the Deathvader was reformed by the massive power of the spirit beam, burning away all traces of evil and replacing them with hope, with love and with the power to heal. When the torrent finally dissipated, the Deathvader was gone. In its place stood a shiny new JCB, with a stunned Jennifer Love Hewitt sitting in the driver’s seat. As Andrew floated down to her, understanding dawned.
“You’ve done it, haven’t you? You saved Planet Zi, and you released me from Skeletor’s evil spell! I’ve been trapped in his vile magical constructs for a thousand years, and now I’m finally free! But first… I haven’t had the opportunity to stick my tongue in another person’s ear for a millenium, and I’ve got me some lost time to make up for!”
