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Post by Charlie on Apr 24, 2008 14:42:06 GMT -5
The writing is good, but I suspect people are waiting for the chapter that combines the stories together.
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Zoidmagnite
Major
Fan of Zoids since the beginning.
Posts: 810
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Post by Zoidmagnite on Apr 24, 2008 21:42:53 GMT -5
Hey. Thanks for the reply, Charlie. I wasn't whining. I just needed to know if folks were rolling their eyes.
Thanks for the compliment on the writing.
There is no way a single chapter could tie all of this together. But I think the next chapter is the one the readers are waiting for. Maybe not. It'll be Friday night or Saturday before I put it up.
Need to write it carefully...
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Post by Arrow on Apr 25, 2008 10:09:52 GMT -5
Ah, yes, this is a big transitional moment, when you need to switch tones from light-hearted and full of in-jokes to serious and dramatic. Good luck with the "arc welding," the anticipation is nearly as good as speculating about what's going to happen on BSG tonight. (Almost makes me want to write down a few of my sillier in-universe concepts involving what's on possibly on Zi television other than Zoids Battle News and other such things.)
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Zoidmagnite
Major
Fan of Zoids since the beginning.
Posts: 810
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Post by Zoidmagnite on Apr 25, 2008 23:34:01 GMT -5
Chapter 7: Life
“You’re wearing a dress.” Bit blinked his eyes.
Chris Tasker looked confused as she stepped out of the doorway into the hall, “Really?” She spun around slowly showing Bit the green dress.
Bit looked rather astonished to see a former Class A opponent looking like she’d never piloted a Zoid in her life. He smiled, “I guess I’ve always seen you in your pilot suit. It’s such a change.”
Chris finished spinning and looked a little concerned. “Are you sure its ok? I mean the color --and I thought the hem was little too low.” She pulled the short hem downward to allow it to reach the lower third of her thigh. “Do I look silly?”
Bit’s eyes widened. “No! You look so –so like a girl. I love green. It’s my favorite color.”
Chris smiled and she leaned closer to him, “It is?”
“Yeah, Chris. You look amazing.”
“Oh good. Would you like to go now?”
“Sure. Do you need anything?”
“No.” She pulled the thin strap of the small purse over her shoulder, “I’ve got my purse,” she lifted the flap of the purse. Sliding her hand in, she made a quick inventory, "I have my Zoid Keycard. I’m ready.”
Chris closed the door to the ZBC apartment. Turning, she walked to the right of Bit down the Hall and through the exit.
Stepping through the door and out into the walkway, they turned right and passed in front of the next two rows of apartments.
Bit breathed in the outside air. “It’s such a nice sunny day. I love summer.”
“I know. Everything is warm and alive.”
“Have you ever been to Summer Fest?”
“Yeah, a couple of times with Kelly.”
They walked out across the large expanse where the City allowed the Zoid Teams to park their equipment. Several kinds of Gustav units, Hover Cargos, and a couple of whale kings in the distance was mixed in with every Zoid under current manufacture. They were nearly to the other side of the entrance.
Bit stopped. “So what’s it like?” he had a curious look on his face.
Chris lifted her eyes, “Oh, it’s a bunch of boxes selling food and little amusement parks for kids. Then there’s basically a bunch of small game booths. It’s pretty much your normal summer festival.” She looked back at him and returned that look.
Bit smiled, “It sounds nice. It’s open into the evening?”
Chris kicked the toe of her ankle boot on the sand. “It closes down at midnight. City regulations.”
Bit faced Chris. He had a look in his eye. “It’s two o’clock.”
Chris returned the look, “Did you bring Liger?”
“Yep.” Bit smiled and pulled the Keycard from his back pocket.
Chris looked at him and came closer. “You know where Grahams hill is?”
Bit smiled back. “You wanna race? Liger’s in Jager.”
Chris gave him an evil grin. “If you beat me there, you can kiss me.”
Bit looked at her, querying the challenge. “And if I lose?”
She had a disappointed look on here face. “Then you can’t.”
Bit leaned closer and looked right into her eyes. “You’re on. We’ll start at the north end of the lot?”
Chris lifted her Keycard between them and waved it slowly back and forth. She spoke softly. “Don’t be late.”
Leena heard the guest alarm sound. She walked through the main lower hall saying, I’m coming to the hallway before arriving at the entrance door. Turning the monitor on, she saw petite blond girl with blue eyes. She was wearing a simple white blouse and brown casual shorts. Leena leaned toward the microphone built into the wall.
“Hi can I help you?”
The blond girl smiled and tilted her head. “Hi I’m Tiana. I’m here to meet Jamie. We’re going to Summer Fest.”
Leena was surprised. Jamie hadn’t mentioned going to the Festival. “Oh, let me get the door.”
She pushed the button and the entrance hatch retreated revealing a pathway up to the base floor from the ground. A pair of steps lowered in front of the girl. Smiling, she rushed up the steps full of energy stopping just in front of Leena.
“You’re Leena Toros.”
Leena was somewhat off guard. “Yes. Yes I am. It’s nice to meet you. Why don’t we go to the main lounge, would you like a soda?”
Tiana followed behind Leena. The sound of the entrance door auto close echoed in the background.
“No thanks.”
Leena looked confused. “Jamie never mentioned going to the Festival. You two are friends?”
“I’m his girlfriend. He’s such a wonderful guy, Leena. He’s so gentle.”
Leena cocked her head. “Uh, yeah --well.” Leena realized that she was sounding odd and pulled herself together. “Yeah, Jamie is rather reserved. I never really looked at it that way.” Leena strained a smile. “I’ll go get him.”
“That would be great. He promised to take me. I was so excited. We’ll have such a good time.” The little blond girl crossed her legs and the rested her hands on her knees.
Leena smiled and waved her hand as she entered the Corridor. “I’ll send him right down. If you need anything the call button is on the table.”
Leena felt her head spinning. Jamie has a girlfriend? Jamie? Wow, she’s a spitfire. She’s so confident, so controlling. What is it about her that bothers me? Leena got into the elevator and closed the doors. As always, she turned to look in the mirror on the wall. What is it about her? And when Leena finished the question she saw the image of herself in the mirror. The answer stared right back at her. Oh.
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Zoidmagnite
Major
Fan of Zoids since the beginning.
Posts: 810
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Post by Zoidmagnite on Apr 26, 2008 18:36:44 GMT -5
Chapter 8: Transitions
The doors to the elevator opened on the rooms deck and Leena stomped down the hall to Jamie’s quarters. She pushed the annunciator button. No one came to the door.
Leena wasted no time, “Jamie! Open this door, or I’m coming in. This is your last warning.”
In her mind Leena counted to three and pushed the manual override on the lock pad. The door opened to an empty room. Leena stomped in. The bed was immaculately made. The shelves over the tidy desk and terminal computer held Battle Strategy and Zoids Statistics Books. On the third shelf was a model of a Pteras with the CP-06 Bomber unit. Next to the Pteras was a model of a Raynos. On the wall was a picture of Jamie’s Dad and mom with him in the middle. Another photo of the Blitz Team accepting the royal cup at the ZBC Courtyard was on the short wall next to the closet.
Putting her hands on her hips she marched over to the closet door and yanked it open. There was Jamie squeezed between the clothes on the rack. Leena grabbed his ear. “C’mon Jamie, you’ve got a date.”
Amidst the shouts of pain, Jamie groaned. “C’mon. Knock it off, Leena. I’m going to be sixteen in a month. I’m not a kid anymore.”
Leena stopped, turned and yanked Jamie up to her. “Exactly. Now quit your whining and start acting like a man. Get down there, take your girlfriend to the Festival and don’t come back here until you’ve taken her home at nine o’clock.”
Jamie pleaded. “But Tiana moves too fast. I can’t keep up with her.”
“Jamie, you think too much. Get downstairs and take your girlfriend out on a date.” Leena raised her finger and pointed it at Jamie’s nose. “And If I hear you ran off and left her without taking her home you will be the sorriest Raynos Pilot in the Capital. Got that?”
Jamie raised the electronic funds card and pleaded, “But I still have your father’s funds card. He went off to the Zoid and Weapons Open House on the Northeast Side of the Capital. I had to take it, or he’d spend us all broke again.”
“How’d you get it off of him?”
“I ordered one for me and never activated it. I swapped it with his. It’s a dud.”
Leena pushed the card back at him. “All the better. Put the card in your pocket, get your girlfriend and get out of here.”
Jamie rolled his eyes. “Okay, Okay. I’ll go to the festival with Tiana. You do realize that’s almost six hours I have to be alone with her.”
Leena frowned. “Then make sure she has a good time, or don’t bother to come back here. Grow some Raynos thrusters and act like a man.”
Jamie headed toward the elevator. As the doors opened he stepped in and turned to face Leena who was still frowning at him. “Make sure she has a good time!”
“Alright! I will!” Jamie’s face was mix of fear and frustration disappearing behind the closing elevator doors.
Leon Toros was sitting at the bar in front of the large monitor having a drink and looking like he had little to do when Jack Cisco sat in the bar chair to his right. Giving a quick glance and then looking back out over the stage, Leon continued to watch the Zi news. It featured reruns of highlight battles during the recently finished Zoids Battle Season.
“Hey, Jack. How you doing?”
Jack had a sip of his drink and continued to look forward as well. “I’m doing fine, Leon and yourself?”
“I’m enjoying a break. Just finished an exercise run on the agility course with Blade Liger.”
“How’d you do?”
Leon had a sip of his drink. “Shaved two seconds off of the time. It’s not close enough to say I increased my time. Tomorrow, I’ll run a scheduled trial.”
Jacked huffed, “The first two aren’t bad. It’s that third lap that gets you.”
“Well I suppose if it wasn’t tough you couldn’t measure a pilot’s abilities. How about you.”
“I left the Lightning Team. Kelly opted not to renew our contract. That’s fair.”
“That’s the problem with business. It’s always fair. Do you own a Zoid?”
“I’ve been in the market for one. I’ve been looking at a Shield Liger Mark Two. But I don’t think Ligers are my bag.”
“They can be pretty demanding. Let alone finicky. Bit seems to have found a way to always keep one motivated. Are you thinking about a bird?”
Cisco chuckled. “I’m pretty grounded. There’s a lot of Zoids to choose from out there. This time I think I’ll look over things pretty carefully.”
“Well, if you get one, feel free to give me a shout. Naomi and I are looking for a third. We think it would really round out the team.”
Jack nodded. “That’s quite an offer. I won’t take it lightly.”
“I didn’t say we would make it easy for you.”
Jack and Leon shared a laugh as a high-pitched tone played for a moment and the large monitor flashed over to a text window. Leon and Jack already knew what it meant as a crowd of people came up from the rear end and patio of the Judges Chambers to watch the event.
Leon looked interested. “It’s only been a month and someone’s applied for a ZBC exhibition match.”
Jack nodded as the crowd surrounded them. “Some just can’t get out of their Zoids for very long.”
The annunciation tone was heard throughout the ZBC Capital. Monitors at various intersections of the city switched from commercials and news to the same blue screen. No one who lived in the Capital could ever miss a Zoid match.
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Zoidmagnite
Major
Fan of Zoids since the beginning.
Posts: 810
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Post by Zoidmagnite on Apr 27, 2008 16:19:25 GMT -5
Chapter 9: Ready! Fight!
Zoid Battle Control was active, processing the battle call. In the main monitor room, a staff of seven female control operators dressed in blue and gold trimmed ZBC uniforms performed the standard routine for a Zoids Battle Request. Two rows of three stations formed an arc on a thirty degree inclined floor. The room was dim allowing information on the gray colored monitor stations to be bright and clear. On the wall in front of the stations a large map of Zenevus readily showed the location of the battle call and the satellites processing the request.
At the top of the incline, a single command chair with arm-mounted controls was the seat for Capital City Control Commander Jasmine Ardent. Her braided sandy brown hair was per regulation and draped over her right shoulder ending just below her bust. Her brown eyes emulated experience and were framed within the large lenses of regulation gold glasses. Her legs were crossed, and Jasmine’s right hand rested on the hem of her skirt. Her fingers massaging the right knee where her hand rested. Her legs were curved and fixed at an angle allowing Jasmine to effortlessly rotate her heavy command chair in spite of the smooth sole of her regulation pumps.
The girl in first row right station scanned the monitor, the ponytail of her black hair waving from the vigor of her screen check. “Affirmative Commander, two judge capsules have been launched from ZBC Sat three five delta and ZBC Sat four one two bravo.”
Jasmine continued, her voice smooth. “Thank you, Tiffany. Melanie, capsule status on Zi low altitude monitor?”
A young girl in the left station of the first row scanned her monitor screen. Her blond hair in a military shoulder cut draped over her cheeks with her downward gaze. “Commander, Judge Capsules are at seventy five thousand feet, on course and accelerating. Touchdown in one minute.”
“Denise, capsule status?”
The redhead in the front row center station was typing information onto her screen. “Battle data has been uploaded. Checksum Confirmed. Capsules are active.”
“Jennifer, public broadcast status?”
The second row seated three black haired girls typing feverishly at their stations. The right seat girl called out done, only a second before the left. The center girl spoke, “Commander, monitor activation has been confirmed. Public annunciation call has been successfully transmitted.”
Jasmine smiled. “Confirmed, ladies, thank you.” She pressed the call button to the public broadcast system on the left arm of her chair. “This is Capital City Zoids Battle Control. We are go for Zoids exhibition battle zero eight dash zero zero one, stand by for capsule broadcast.” Releasing the call button, Ardent looked interested. “It’s been a while since we’ve had a good old fashion Turf Burn.”
Jennifer looked over her shoulder. Her face emulated curiosity. “Turf Burn, Commander?”
Jasmine smiled and switched her legs; the wisp of her nylons detailed the event. “A good old fashioned race, Jennifer. This one’s gonna be good.”
Melanie followed per protocol. “Commander, Capsules Deceleration Burns are Complete. Touchdowns in twenty seconds.”
Just off the Northern Edge of the Main Zoid Team Parking Facility a Lightning Saix and a White Liger in a Jager High Speed Armor System Stood three hundred feet into the grass plain. Both Zoids were looking upward giving their pilots the view of two streaming objects heading for the ground. One was only a mile in front of them, the second a long distance off toward a large hill rising upward on the horizon. Camera pods levitated every few hundred feet. The closest camera pod lowered itself to the right of the Zoids.
Bit cloud sat in his cockpit talking to an old friend. “Alright Liger. This time it’s all about speed. Ya ready to show off what you and I have been working on?”
The white liger raised its head upward roaring into the sky.
In the cockpit, Bit received a communication request. The small monitor displayed two lines of text, the first a Zoid Pilot Registration Number and on the second line, the pilot’s name.
Chris Tasker.
Bit hit the acknowledge button and a hologram of Chris appeared on his right side. Still in her green dress, she was confident and looked competitive. “I might as well warn you. I’ve prepped Saix for the race. She’s in a good mood today.” Chris raised her hand, her finger floated around the right side of her lips. “You’re going to have to work for it if you want to win these.” She finished with a devilish grin.
Bit winked, his excitement split between the battle and prize. “I’ll be waiting for them at the finish line.”
There was an explosive sound outside and Bit and the image of Chris looked forward on their cockpit monitors. A Camera window opened in the lower right hand corner of the forward display. It was a direct link from one of the pod cameras, and showed a white judge capsule rising, half of the shell raised pivoting on hinges mounted at the top and revealed a stem mounted android Judge. The warning alarms sounded and the procedure began.
“Warning! A mile wide path from West Capital City to the Base of Grahams Hill has been designated a Zoid Battlefield. Area Scanned. Battlefield Setup. Zoid Pilot Bit Cloud versus Zoid Pilot Chris Tasker in exhibition match. Battle mode zero zero eight. Point to point race.
The judge raised his harms in an outward and upward travel, the standard before calling the start of the Zoid match. With his hands raised the android prepared to cross them as they always did with the second word.
Ready… Fight!
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